If you’re like me, you love being a mom. You love having kids around. You love the busy-ness, the schedules, the friends coming over.... all of it. I loved every stage of kids from infants to teens. I loved my life just the way it was and the thought of my life changing and not having kids around was very hard for me.
I realized as the empty-nest stage approached, my life had been so centered around my kids and my family (which I felt was the way it was supposed to be-no regrets there!) that I realized, I had no goals for the future. I was happily engrossed in caring for the house, running the kids from place to place, attending concerts and football games, having movie nights and game nights, and working full-time to help make ends meet at home. I was in denial that my life would always stay that way, even though I logically knew it wouldn’t.
My husband was a single father when I met him so we literally had kids from day 1. As we neared the empty nest stage, I began to wonder, what’s going to happen next? Will the next stage of my life be as wonderful as the previous one? Where do I go from here? And what about our marriage? Since we won’t have kids at home anymore, will we be able to stay connected and enjoy the closeness we had when the kids were home or will we be like a lot of couples and split up because they grew apart and found out they no longer had anything in common?
Why does this happen? I’m sure you’ve heard of a “midlife crisis”. In my thinking, the empty-nest phase is a woman’s “midlife crisis”. Everything we have done for many years is suddenly changing and if you thoroughly enjoyed it, as I did, it’s sad to leave that part of your life behind. It’s also scary because that stage was familiar and comfortable.
Change is never easy and I think it’s especially hard when you like your life the way it is and you want it to stay that way. You begin to question if you will have purpose beyond caring for your kids. You wonder if you will find the same enjoyment and fulfillment in the empty-nest years. It also causes you to evaluate where you are. Sometimes in that evaluation process, it can cause you to rethink things and make some adjustments.
Like most things in life, mindset is a huge part of facing the empty-nest years. I’ve heard it said, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you make of it.” I have found that to be true. Yes, things do change, and yes, they can be just as wonderful and fulfilling as having kids at home. Look for the good in the situation and you will find it.
I hope you have found this to be encouraging.
If you find yourself in a tough season, I would love to help you navigate it. I'm a life coach....I can help! Not sure what life coaching is and if it can help you? Visit my website and book a session. The 1st session (30 minutes) is free so it's win-win! Visit mindyheinercoaching.com
Love and blessings,
Mindy
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