When I was a kid, cell phones weren’t available to the masses. If the phone rang, the only way you knew who was calling was to answer it unless you took it off the hook so it rang “busy” on the other end. Our kitchen phone had a long cord so if you wanted to have a private conversation you either stretched it around the corner to the dining room or hid in the kitchen closet and whispered. Yes we actually did that!

  Answering machines were all the craze when they hit the market. Imagine being able to get messages from people who called while you were at the store! Just typing that makes me laugh.

 Computers were different then and the world wide web wasn’t invented yet. There weren’t iPods and iPads and iWatches.  “Boom boxes” and “walkmans” were the  ways you listened to music “back then”.  Video phones and other “futuristic” stuff was only envisioned through Epcot and the Jetsons.   

 There were less “scary” events in the world; families and neighbors watched out for one another. You felt relatively safe to travel and if you used common sense and reasonable precautions, you pretty much figured you were safe.

 In today’s tech world, the rules have changed significantly. You now can read the news on your phone or tablet. There are many jobs you can work from anywhere in the world, even while on vacation. Kids can do their school work on the computer and most kids have a cell phone.

 While all of this technology is amazing and can be extremely convenient and beneficial, it also has risks. Since technology wasn’t a big part of my life when I was younger, it can feel very scary and if you don’t know what you’re doing, it can have risks associated. But what I have found is that risks can be minimized with education and boundaries, for both yourself and your kids. This applies to all aspects of raising kids, not just using technology.

 Here are some things I have found helpful while raising my kids:

I’m sure most of you have heard the old saying “One rotten apple spoils the whole bunch.” That’s true with kids, too. Who they are spending time with can significantly affect the decisions they make in life. Get to know their friends.

The world can be scary and kids need a safe place to come home to. Make it a drama-free zone and a place they feel they can be themselves.

Make your home a place where kids want to be. This way you can know their friends and who is a bad influence vs a good influence. Getting to know the parents is important, as well .

Have “house rules” and enforce them.  Kids need (and want) rules. They need the stability of rules. They want you to love them enough to be in charge. I’m not talking about being a tyrant, but rather giving loving guidance and appropriate consequences. Kids don’t know how to regulate their behavior. It’s our job as parents to do that while teaching them and slowly giving them freedom to learn how to care for themselves and control their behavior. Give them age-appropriate responsibility and decisions.

You not only have to monitor the tv shows they watch, but also the videos online, the games they play, their texting conversations…the list goes on and on. I know it feels overwhelming as a parent at times but trust me, it’s necessary and it will pay dividends. Setting parental controls online is helpful but nothing takes the place of being alert and knowing what your kids are watching and who they are interacting with.  Our kids need us to be the parent and protect and guide them. You need to be the adult. You can be their friend later. For now, they need you to monitor what they are doing and help keep them safe.

Nothing can replace a mother’s intuition. It’s a very powerful gift that God gave to moms and we need to pay attention to it. If something feels “off”, make sure you are listening to that. You may think you are being paranoid or overprotective, but NEVER underestimate the power of that feeling. Many times it’s spot on.

 

 

Technology continues to evolve quickly and there will continue to be new things that pop up as a result of that. It can feel scary and overwhelming but if you continue to use common sense, set reasonable boundaries, stay involved in your kids lives, and keep open communication with them, you will do fine. I hope this has been helpful for you.

 

Love and blessings,

Mindy

 

P.S. If you need guidance in this area (or any other area that you are struggling with), I would love to chat….I’m a life coach and I can help!

Visit my website mindyheinercoaching.com and schedule a time to chat. If you have never scheduled a coaching time with me, your first session (30 minutes) is free! I’m so excited to work with you!